A Few of My Favourite Things

Kids who make their own lunch. And arrange it on a table they’ve set up themselves.Children who read. A baby who still nurses from time to time.

Tiny front-yard gardens that produce actual tomatoes to be picked by girls still wearing pajamas.

The smell of a lime being sliced open, which makes me think we should up and move down south to a country where these would be locally grown (along with mangoes and avocadoes).

What Is That, Mommy? That’s Art.

Here’s an article I stumbled across online that offers a tiny window into the wastelands of CanLit obscurity. It rang rather horribly true. I’ve spent this summer deliberately not writing. Not writing poetry, not writing stories, not writing anything except the occasional blurb-like blog entry. Instead, I’ve been going, doing, cooking, eating, drinking, biking, talking, dozing, rising, reading. At first, I thought I’d go crazy without an outlet for my imagination; oddly, it’s been the opposite, which is frightening me ever so slightly as I prepare to return to a more regular writing life, afforded by children returning to school, and regular babysitting hours funded by dwindling grant monies.

My heart is querying: why? And I’m querying: heart, can you bear to return to that sheaf of rejected poems? Can you bear to begin again another new project? Can you bear to travel to those dark and lonely places?

It’s occurred to me that were I to remove the ambition of being a writer from my psyche, mine would be a full and fulfilling life. With that hole of doubt and hope plastered over, life looks simple–not simplistic. A clean wall on which to hang new photographs, less mirrors.

This post isn’t a question. It’s the hum of an observation.

But here’s a question: what if the gifts I’ve interpreted as belonging to “writer,” actually belong to some other vocation?
I know I’m good at: expressing emotions, witnessing moments, sitting quietly, focussing deeply, finding humour, sharing beauty in imagery and language, listening, reflection, taking responsibility, organizing, planning, assessing situations and staying flexible.

I know sometimes I’m: too introspective, overly analytical, reticent, impatient. Sometimes my expectations (for myself and for others) are way too high. I eat cheese almost every night before bed. My favourite dream hasn’t change since childhood, and it involves riding a wild horse.

Enough with the sequitors and non-. I will leave this post as … to be continued. Ain’t life interesting?

Wedding, July 22, 2009

Apparently, I stopped taking photos at this point. But these few made it onto the camera, and I send them forth into the crowded perpetuity that is Blogland. The first were taken while we were waiting for photographs, just goofing around under the tent. It stopped raining and the sun burst forth just as the ceremony began. Verklempt, I was.
May their lives together be blessed.

Tomorrow’s the Big Day

Okay, I think I may be more excited about my brother’s wedding than my brother and my soon-to-be-sister-in-law are. They’ve been together seven years already, own some property together, you know, they are already basically married, but still. Kevin and I have six siblings between us, and my brother is the first of our collective siblings to get married (and our wedding was already a decade ago). I have three brothers, and Chach is closest in age to me; we are seventeen months apart, and from six months on he was pretty much as big as me, and even though we were kinda rivals for a few of those years, I love him like anything and always have. So I’m throwing my imaginary hat into the air and whooping it up because I’m sooooo excited!
Here’s some footage of our humble wedding prep, which mostly involves Albus (in these pictures). First up: hair cut (the photo was taken halfway through). After watching him struggling to breathe through his sopping mass of curls during swim lessons, my fingers got itchy. Result: shorter hair, actual seeing of the eyes. CJ wanted a hair cut too. But his curls are too cute to sacrifice, so we just pretended to cut it. Today, Grandma Alice arrived with new clothes for the big kids’ choir; Albus’s will double as his wedding outfit. I couldn’t get a straight shot out of the lad, but you know, I like it that way. He is who he is: my fast-talking, sweet/serious, noisy/quiet, silly and dear son. I love how Apple-Apple managed to keep the fine and serious pose requested by the photographer (me).
Okay, kids, onto the wedding! We’ll be cheering in our finest.

Good Enough

Trying to get up in school-ready time, which is silly because we still have two and a half weeks of summer vacation left; but I want to remind myself that I can do it. And I can. It just makes me want to go to bed earlier. Unfortunately, the children are not going to bed earlier. If anything, they seem incapable of falling asleep before 9:30 at night, no matter when we tuck them in (perhaps we should end the two-week-long sleepover going on in Albus’s room; Apple-Apple is in his loft bed, because she kicks, and Fooey and Albus have been sharing a mattress on the floor, which leaves only enough floorspace for masses of dumped Lego. My thorough cleaning of several weekends ago was decimated almost instantly). Naturally, no matter how active our days, the children still wake up at approximately the same time. This morning it wasn’t their fault. We were all woken by an apparent earthquake, the entire house shuddering on its foundations. It’s still going on. Endless road construction.

:: :: ::
Tomato season seems to be starting only just now; at any rate, my favourite savoury fruit hasn’t been offered in bulk yet at either of our local food sources. Tomatoes loom, and part of me is questioning whether I’ll find the energy and time to do the work when the bushels start rolling in. (I think I can, I think I can). It feels like I haven’t been putting up food at the same pace as last summer, or perhaps not with the same fresh enthusiasm. Because we’ve already filled one freezer, so obviously we are putting food up: mainly blueberries, apricots, peas, and yesterday evening Kevin grated a ton of zucchini (for baking). There is no doubt if we had to live on what I’ve put up, we would not survive; but why am I thinking in these all-or-nothing terms? Instead, why not appreciate how second-nature putting up food has become? Not vast quantities, but little bits here and there. It does add up, and will make our winter more flavourful. There is so much summer bounty, and no way to preserve it perfectly. The way of all things perishable.
Cheery, huh.
This post has been written in the midst of serving children breakfasts and trying to meet their variety of demands (poorly, due to focussing on this posting instead). And now it’s time to hop on bicycles and head to swim lessons.

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About me

My name is Carrie Snyder. I work in an elementary school library. I’m a fiction writer, reader, editor, dreamer, arts organizer, workshop leader, forever curious. Currently pursuing a certificate in conflict management and mediation. I believe words are powerful, storytelling is healing, and art is for everyone.

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