Category: Summer

Forgetting, Remembering

Last week was a hard one for me. Home alone (with the children), I thought, well, I’ll think of it as a holiday. But it didn’t feel like a holiday. It felt like me, home alone with the children, with no writing time. It felt like in one short week, I’d lost the ability to talk coherently to grownups. My patience was thin. My envy of anyone with a job outside the home was thick. Note to all mothers of young children who read this blog and wonder how the heck I do the things that I do: I do those things while other people look after my children. There’s no secret to it, really. When I’m home alone with my children, I can barely string together a sentence without interruption. It’s a recipe for madness, not for insightful thought.

(I write this while one child quizzes me in multiple choice form and we all stare out the window at a man with a hammer breaking apart some copper piping in front of our house — not our piping, but I’m guessing he didn’t come by it honestly; but as I’m sitting in my bathing suit because it’s really really hot, and though the kids have suggested it, I’m not going to approach the man with the hammer to ask what he’s doing on our sidewalk).

Productive? Holiday?

Neither, really. But this morning, I got up early and went to a yoga class: my first in nearly two weeks. A short list for mental survival arrived. I must write this down and remember it, I thought. Why is it so hard to remember the little things that make life better? And then to step out of inertia to do them?

– yoga, for meditation and quiet thought
– writing, journalling
– reading poetry
– friends

And while this week alone with children is not a holiday, and it’s not going to be productive work-wise either, it is time with my children, unstructured together-time. We made an attempt at an adventure this morning. It didn’t really turn out (too many mosquitoes), but everyone enjoyed it. “This really is an adventure!” someone said, as we fled the woods amidst a storm of bugs. This week, I’m going to write a bit more, hang out a bit more, and yoga a bit more. And not try to wish this summer into something it’s not.

Horse camp

This child has not had a day of hanging around the house doing nothing since school ended two weeks ago. The very next day, we dove directly into our Canada Day camping trip; two days after that, we delivered her and her older brother to a wonderful overnight camp for another week of adventure away from home; from which her dad picked her up super-early last Saturday for a two-hour drive to a two-day soccer tournament (she got car-sick on the way to the tournament, and went on to play three back-to-back games looking not a bit like her usual self; thankfully, all was well by Sunday’s game); and on Monday morning, bright and early, the little kids and I drove her out to the country to the much-anticipated horse camp.

For the week, she got “her own” pony: this sweet brown mare named Lola. She learned how to ride in proper English style, how to hold the reins, and keep her heels lowered in the stirrups, and how to do a rising trot. She also got to ride a horse while it swam in a pond on the farm. How cool is that?

This morning, she said, “Tomorrow, I’ll get to do nothing at all at home.”

“Your brother has his soccer tournament, and we’re all going to go.”

“Well, Sunday, then.”

“He might make it into the semi-finals.”

“Then I kinda hope he doesn’t–“

At which point I stopped her, because that was exactly her brother’s attitude toward her tournament the previous weekend; and because, though I get the sentiment, we’re trying to foster a mutually supportive environment here. Everybody on board, please.

“Okay, well, Monday, then I’ll get to do nothing.”

“Swim lessons,” said her dad.

“So when do I get to do nothing?”

Luckily for her, I’m pretty sure swim lessons don’t start until Tuesday. So she can have a full day to do nothing. And swim lessons aren’t exactly rigorous — it’s our one guaranteed daily activity, biking to the pool and getting to swim. And then she can keep doing nothing for the entire month of August, because this is it: the last planned camp of the summer.

The definition of a perfect summer afternoon

Yesterday: five boys in the back yard, already semi-bored from summer holidaying, looking for fun, finding it spontaneously. Four ten-year-olds welcoming the three-year-old into the group. After the splashing and the snacking, they retreat to the basement. The three-year-old emerges, flushed and sweaty, requesting his shirt off, and races back down again, shouting, “I’m a bad guy now, too!” “Um, what are you doing down there?” “Playing a battling game.” “Okaaaaay …” (As long as no one gets hurt.) (No one gets hurt.) From basement battling to board game in the living-room: Mama eavesdropping on the goofy, happy conversation. Finally, Mama needs to leave to pick up the girls, one at a play date and the other at horse camp. “We can stay home alone.” “Yah, I’ve stayed home alone a lot.” “Me, too.” “It’s okay.” “Right, well. No. Not gonna happen. You’ll have to find another plan.” So, five boys walk down the sidewalk and around the corner — even the three-year-old, who refuses to be left behind — to someone else’s house, to keep on playing. (Mama retrieves the pleased-as-punch three-year-old once they’ve reached their destination; and drives off to horse camp thinking of boys at a not-quite-in-between-age in damp swim suits on a front porch, playing Apples to Apples; and one of those boys is hers).

In the garden

Here’s what I like doing in the garden: pulling things up, chopping things down, and day-dreaming. I wander around with my garden gloves and imagine what the apple tree would look like if we built a treehouse around it. I imagine a child hidden high in the leafy branches, spying (like I loved to do, as a child). Imagining what could be is as satisfying as bringing it into being. Well, it’s not really fair to compare the two, because both are extremely satisfying, but in different ways. I love bringing an idea to fruition: that ah sensation of accomplishment. But I love equally letting my mind wander through plans and plots and possibilities. It’s like being at rest and at play at the same time. These are some of the happiest moments in my every day.

Time

Last week, I enjoyed mornings on my own in a quiet house. It couldn’t last. The big kids were at overnight camp and the little kids were at a dance camp, and I knew it would be the only week in July that would provide me with that kind of alone time. I enjoyed having time to blog regularly and to think and plan out loud.

Alone time is a luxury to which I’ve grown accustomed, thanks to the coming-together of a variety of factors: kids in full-time school and part-time nursery school; babysitting; grant money.

Some of which evaporate during the summer months.

So, I could tear my hair out with frustration (and I may), or I could embrace the off-time as best as possible, and go with the flow. I’m trying to do the latter. It is Tuesday of the first week that I’m trying to do this. Let’s say it’s going well, but I haven’t really been tested.

Yesterday, with three out of four children around all day (AppleApple is going to a horse day-camp this week), we ran some fairly leisurely errands: library, grocery store, dr’s appointment. CJ rode his balance bike around town; Fooey begged to ride in the stroller (mostly, I made her walk); Albus was surprisingly compliant in our company. I didn’t have the energy to make supper before heading out for my swim lessons, so I whipped up a fresh tomato/zucchini/cilantro/onion/lemon salad, and left Kevin with instructions to top pitas with the salad and some cheese, grill them, and call it “pizza.” I think it worked. Hurray for fresh, simple summer suppers.

I’m tending to exercise more in the evening than the early morning. Early mornings work when there is time to nap, and there isn’t; I don’t want to be zombie-like with everyone around.

This morning, we are having difficulty reaching consensus. I would like to go swimming. Albus agrees. Fooey and CJ are resistant to the idea. CJ is developing a quick temper that he applies as leverage. Fooey has a lot of rules and regulations, of her own devising, to which she expects everyone to adhere. Albus tends toward severe boredom when left to his own devices. And I miss my alone time.

These activities have made the short-list for today: swimming; back yard splashing; gardening; walking uptown to buy seeds, sticker books, and to visit the pharmacy for advice on what appears to be seasonal allergies (Albus); having a friend over (Albus); clearing out the playroom/office to paint it (probably too massive a project to survive the fantasy stage); cutting CJ’s hair (couldn’t bring myself to do so yesterday); cleaning out drawers and cupboards and hidden areas of the house that get ignored all year long.

I also have as a goal to preserve a vegetable or fruit every week: we’ll call it Preservation By Theme. Last week the theme was strawberries. This week … well, what’s in season? Suggestions?