Friday, Jun 12, 2009 | Uncategorized |


Imagine, if you will, trying to keep your little fellow in the house with THIS going on mere feet away. Imagine the noise this machine is creating. Imagine beep-beep-beep starting at six in the morning, continuing till after supper. Imagine an aboveground sewer pipe blocking your driveway. Imagine summer, windows open, heat. Imagine having to shout at your children not because you’re in a bad mood, and not occasionally, but because otherwise THEY WON’T BE ABLE TO HEAR YOU. Imagine yourself saying to your husband, “Uh, how soon can I lose my patience with this situation?” “Better not. Not yet.”
Deep breathing, deep breathing, cough, cough, cough.
Friday, Jun 12, 2009 | Mothering |


Why eat off your tray while sitting in your high chair when you can eat off your tray while standing on the arm of your high chair? You’ll scream your lungs out if someone tells you not to, too.
It’s funny, but almost as soon as I entertained the notion of babysitting this coming year, the opportunity evaporated; and I don’t think I’ll seek out others. If it happens, it happens, and it feels like perhaps life is pointing elsewhere instead. Really, I operate within this ephemeral combinaton of action and acceptance. Chasing the most vital dreams, opening myself to the unexpected, trying to embrace where I’m actually at. Can I confess that it feels harder, now, to be mothering an adventurous 14-month-old, than it felt when Albus and Apple-Apple were similarly aged, and I was still in my twenties? I gave myself over to that role wholly; but am experiencing more ambivalence now, itching to re-emerge into my own individual self; but don’t want to cheat this sweet young man of whatever intensity of mothering he needs.
Interesting times.
The laundry calls. As do the “little kids.”
Wednesday, Jun 10, 2009 | Play |



Yesterday was so peaceful. We played school.
Today, I was up early anticipating some time alone to blog and email friends and prepare for a writing day; sort of forgot about the two cakes waiting on the counter to be decorated for real school’s cake decorating contest. It was bottom of the barrel around here … what could be scavanged from cupboards to decorate cakes, not to mention the cakes themselves were so moist only I could frost without eviscerating them in the process. It took me eleven minutes to smear white frosting on one round cake. “These cakes could win the ‘most pitiful’ competition.” The kids riffed on that theme for awhile, but bless them, they weren’t in the least discouraged. Apple-Apple took her time and planned carefully, “Autumn tree with roots,” and Albus chucked things on randomly and then declared that it was a composting cake. (Both went with the “eco” theme.)
I should post photos, but honestly … pitiful. We had five minutes left over in which to eat breakfast, dress, and run to the walking school bus. Poor Kevin was tasked with driving the cakes to school (yes–cakes, not children, how’s that for eco madness).
Now I’m upstairs for writing day. Feeling resistant because this last story isn’t yielding easily. I’m digging through the cupboards dragging odds and sods off the shelves and tossing the mess onto the blank; a composting story, I suspect, rather than “autumn tree with roots.”
Monday, Jun 8, 2009 | Holidays |

Monday, Jun 8, 2009 | Local Food |
For those interested in knowing more about Nina’s buying club, click
here to read a recent article in the local newspaper.
More later about this mama’s weekend away with girlfriends, and how the family survived. Writing morning, and I’m working on One Last Story for this book (nope. the manuscript wasn’t quite done).