Almost daily, I am reminded that we are each experiencing this time of pandemic and protest somewhat differently, which means that even a simple question like “How are you?” is fraught with complications — but also rich with honesty. Because in the before-times, we probably answered, “Fine,” or “Good,” or “Okay,” or, maybe, with a close friend, “Do you really want to know?” But right now, if we ask, “How are you?” we’ll very often get the truth. For someone who appreciates messy, this is novel and pretty cool; because the truth is usually messy. Do you mean, how am I at this very exact moment in time? Or how I was when I woke up this morning? Or how I’m aspiring to be? Or shall I just spiral through my multitudes here and now?
So. How are you?
I feel like I’m (temporarily) finding my feet amidst the confusion of “re-opening.” I’m figuring out my own boundaries, which means I’m figuring out my family’s boundaries too. And I’m finding the capacity to put into words the limitations and constraints with which I feel comfortable.
In truth, I think I’m finding that daily life is easier so long as I accept that we’re living during a pandemic, and there’s no returning to “before.” I’d like to grieve and move on. But I know not everyone is there.
Rather than pining for “before,” we need new things to look forward to, and we need new rituals to sustain our days.
A new ritual I’ve been enjoying is tea, three times a day.
I’ve spent the past two weeks doing a “tea cleanse” led by my sister-in-law, who owns a local tea company: SquirrelDuck, look her up! Her teas and tisanes are fresh and delicious, with something for any occasion, and the “cleanse” was a chance to reset some small habits, and to mark the passage of each day. We officially finished yesterday … but I found myself in the kitchen this morning preparing two cups of turmeric tea with lemon, one for me and one for Kevin. A sunny friendly welcome to the day. For the cleanse, afternoon tea was a dandelion spearmint mixture (I’m drinking some right now!). After-dinner tea was hibiscus with apple and beetroot.
I plan to continue this ritual as long as it feels soothing and special, perhaps substituting different teas along the way (so many to choose from!). My personal favourites from Beth’s collection are Ginger and After Dinner; she also sells coffee. (And no, we did not quit caffeine for our cleanse.)
Side note, related: Have you noticed how magnified and lovely the small pleasures in life have become?
If you’ve spent time with small children, you’ll know this is what they do: notice the small things, express their emotions freely, and, more often than not, adapt to change with what seems like miraculous aptitude. We all have the chance to be like children again, noticing the small things that please and soothe us, observing the world around us, listening to learn new stories and perspectives: tentative, maybe, unsure, sometimes, not having all the words to say what we feel; scared — that too; but also attuned to what’s possible, alert to what’s waiting to be discovered, asking many questions, wondering, exploring what’s new, speaking the truth.