Finding it hard to find time to write this week. The schedule feels relentless. There are so many little odds and ends I want to note and write down in order to remember, but I’m doing it all in my head, never getting my fingers to the keyboard (or a pen to the page of a notebook, for that matter). Baby sleeping poorly, STILL! Last night, we got him down, Kevin left to go back to work late, and I went off to bed–and by 10:30, CJ was awake and screaming and the magic boob had apparently lost all of its magical powers. No go on the nursing; he really wanted nothing, just couldn’t settle and sleep. I let him cry for twelve long minutes in his playpen, tried nursing again, nope. This went on. I almost called Kevin to beg him to come home and walk the kid around, but eventually CJ fell back to sleep in our bed, with me patting his back. And there he stayed all night, nursing on multiple occasions. The magic reappeared at around 1AM.
Our last CSA box will be picked up tonight. I’m guessing: beets, chard, beets, chard, beets, chard, a carrot or three, potatoes. In fact, in preparation for this arrival, I am boiling up all the beets to be found still huddling in our fridge. It’s my Tuesday clear-the-bottom-drawer boil-up. Except there’s still last week’s chard. Oh, and kale. Forgot to add kale into the mix. There’s bound to be some of that too. I can’t possibly eat it all myself, and no one else will, so it sits sadly in the fridge waiting patiently, growing weak and weary and all dried out and shrivelled.
Was supposed to write on Monday morning, but woke up unprepared and decided to run errands instead and go about a regular day. It was fine, but I do miss it. Still, the writing day really only works when I can string more than two or three hours together at a time. It’s just exquisite torture otherwise. Just enough time to get into something, never enough time to finish it. In fact, I’d say it takes about two hours to get chugging, like the brain is finally up to speed and connections are being made lightening fast, ideas stringing together, words flowing and dancing, and it’s just cruel to cut it off at that point.
Must cut this off at this point, however, because it’s F’s music class at the Beckett and we are leaving in about ten minutes, and I have to wake the babe and change his diaper and toss everyone into warm clothing. Hopefully CJ will be cheerier today, having had (a portion of) his nap before the class. He’s less and less easy to entertain for an hour in a bare hallway, waiting. I think the teacher likes us to stay in case there’s an emergency bathroom break, but maybe I could sneak off for part of today’s lesson and grab a coffee and a treat from City Cafe bakery just up the street. That would just about make my day.
Sunshine this morning as we walked to school, very very cold, but brilliant and beautiful colours that lifted my spirits. Now we’re back to grey. My least favourite colour. My least favourite mood.