Sequencing exercise # 2: In kundalini class

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I am standing in warrior one pose in kundalini class, in Kasia’s sunny studio, my hands held in the air like fists, and at her command I am kicking my back leg up and through like a ninja or judo expert, neither of which I am. The music is guttural shouting — har har har har har in the throat, finishing with a strong shout: har! Our fists punch down and our legs kick forward.

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Eyes open.

The tree in Kasia’s backyard is bright orange and red and I am loving the shouting and kicking and punching, not because I’m angry, not because I have any fury to kick or punch through, but because it feels good to shout and kick and make known my presence on this earth. I don’t know what this kriya is for, that she’s chosen for this morning’s class, but I decide it is a kriya to rip out the walls of fear and hesitation and doubt — self-doubt — and cause a great wellspring of courage to flow forth into the universe, into the flamingly beautiful dying leaves, the crisp blue sky, the chilly wind, the room full of privileged white middle-aged women (and one man) chanting and kicking and rendering themselves vulnerable to mockery.

I see that. I see that, too.

I kick. I punch. I shout. The guts feel good on the shout. The foot plants after each kick with steadiness and purpose.
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After this we will sit for awhile and meditate and the word awaken will fight with the word dream, and I won’t know which I crave more.

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xo, Carrie

My imaginary course, please hire me to teach this
I am not brave

1 Comment

  1. I’m liking the illustrations.

    Reply

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