I am running for …

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Saturday morning, just as kids were gearing up for soccer tryouts (parents too, as we’re both coaching rep teams), Kevin came into the kitchen and quietly said, “The vet just called.” I could tell from his expression that the news wasn’t good. One of our beloved dogs, DJ, has a suspicious lump in her mouth, and the vet thought it might be cancer.

And it is.

And so, with tears in our eyes, we told the kids, all of them gathered around the dining room table playing a board game together, in their soccer gear. There were many tears. We don’t know what will happen next, but as F (age 11) and I walked the dogs later on that day, she had many questions, many thoughts. “DJ doesn’t deserve this!” (No one deserves this.) “Do you think DJ knows she has cancer? I don’t think she knows. Maybe it’s good that she doesn’t know.” “I don’t want DJ to feel any pain!”

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We decided that we would be grateful that DJ is currently her usual self, not showing any signs of pain or distress, eating well, and enjoying her walks and naps. But it is still hard not to worry about the future.

I have no time for this post, it has been written in a hurry. But I must explain that photo at the top of this post.

The kids had the Terry Fox run at their school last week, before we had DJ’s diagnosis, and CJ (age 8) came home with a large sticker which he stuck onto our kitchen counter. It reads (and I’m correcting his spelling): “Terry ran for me. I am running for … my step-grandma and maybe my dog.” F also ran for her step-grandma.

There are too many people to run for. I’m sure you have your people too.

Sending love and hope out into the universe.

xo, Carrie

Notebook exercise # 1
Notebook exercise # 2

2 Comments

  1. So sorry to hear this Carrie. My guide dog died of cancer and it was one of the worst experiences of my life. It’s so hard when they do feel pain and things get worse because you can’t make them understand what’s happening to them. Hard to know just how much they realize, but I hope your dog doesn’t get much worse for a while and you can all enjoy some more time together.

    Reply
  2. Kerry, that is utterly heartbreaking. What a terribly sad loss. Thankfully, our dog seems in her usual spirits and is not suffering at present. We hope for more time like this…

    Reply

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