On why I’m wearing a bikini to the pool

it's a long road
this is not a picture of me in my bikini

Agh! I want to blog! But I have about six minutes remaining in my work day. I can’t quite describe how busy it’s been, nor how lovely, too. We’re a week and a half into summer holidays, and we’ve hit a nice groove this week. I’ve got great daytime babysitting arranged. The kids are getting outside often, and doing fun projects with their sitters like cooking and making paper airplanes and blowing bubbles. Today, Albus went swimming in a friend’s backyard. AppleApple’s been going to daily swim lessons at a beautiful outdoor 50m pool, and I’ve gotten to bike her there all week — and then lane swim during her lesson.

Which leads me to the bikini. Today, I went for my lane swim in a new sporty bikini. It’s small. It exposes my mother-of-four stomach. And I love wearing it. Why? It expresses confidence. It’s a semiotic for where I’m at. I exercise regularly, not because I want to look good, but because it makes me feel good. And I do feel good in this body. Wrinkles, stretch marks — yup. Got ’em. Muscles — yup. Got ’em too. So be it. I am thirty-seven years old.

Occasionally, I find myself regretting that I didn’t discover my latent athletic self earlier. But you know, mostly I’m simply grateful to have discovered that part of myself, period. Regret of this sort is foolish. So I didn’t play soccer as a kid. I’m playing it now and learning new skills. So it took me thirty-five years before I learned how to swim. I learned and I love swimming! That’s the point, not that I’ve missed opportunities along the way.

I’ve decided that this is my opportunity to wear a bikini. Never thought it would happen again. Glad the moment has come.

If there’s something you want to do, or wish you’d done years ago, can you do it now? Maybe. Just maybe. Consider it.

On sharing the household labour
Now in season: summer

4 Comments

  1. I can totally relate. I started running at 40 and am returning to full time university at 42. Why didn’t I know I wanted to be a student-triathlete at 19??? But again, regret won’t change a thing, so instead I will focus on kicking butt in the 40-45 age category! Oh good for you to sport the bikini. I am not THAT brave yet!

    Reply
    • Sounds like we’re on similar journies (though I have no intention to return to school!). What will you be taking at university?

      Reply
  2. Well said Carrie. I’m inspired,and I’ve got almost ten years on you!

    Reply
    • Well, I hope you’ll do it, then, Kristen! It’s funny how many friends have responded with, “I’m not that brave.” I realized, while trying on the suit at the store, that I could easily pull it off but only if I wore it confidently, and unself-consciously. Truth is, I’ve liked getting older (so far). Age HAS made me a braver person.

      Reply

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