Squeezed

Everything feels squeezed today–squeezed into our one day in this week as a full-together family, one day for rest and work, and not nearly enough time for either. Woke up to the dishes that hadn’t gotten done all day yesterday. Clearing the kitchen took about an hour of pure old-fashioned work. Kinda regretted not having a dishwasher simply to solve that situation; but I sought comfort from the radio. CBC’s Sunday Edition ran a piece on activists, which felt almost like research, as the book I’m working on is about activism (at least in part). I’m queen of the multi-task, and to be feeding my mind while working on a necessary task is divine conflation.

Now I’m baking cookies for school lunches and this week’s playgroup, while blogging. I was also listening to Tapestry on CBC, but that seemed like one task too many for my brain. As soon as this first round of cookies comes out of the oven, I’ll be nursing the baby. Cookie dough prep time was also bonding-with-three-year-old time; if, that is, it can be considered bonding time to participate in some version of the following conversation for a full twenty minutes: “Mommy, can I lick that bowl?” “After we’re done making the cookies, yes you can.” “Mommy, can I lick the spoon?” “In a minute.” Zero pause. “Mommy, can I lick the spoon?” “Hang on.” “Mommy can I lick that bowl?”

Just realized I also have to get something together to take to the Euclid Street party, which has already started. And AB needs to be picked up from a birthday party. And so I will cut this post short as I turn the radio back on and chop some veggies while slapping cookie dough onto trays.

But here is what I’m thinking about today, as a general ongoing topic: I’m thinking about how to feed myself; not in an indulgent way, but in a deep and spiritual way, and I’m thinking about how to do that while still doing this full-time parenting job, which leaves very little time on the side for self. It’s hard to find time even to notice what’s missing when I’m folding laundry at 10pm (as I was last night) with a kitchen full of dishes waiting upon waking.

Here’s a small wishlist to start: Jogging. Yoga. Meditation. Walking. Movies. Books. Libraries. Spanish lessons.

Saturday Morning, Pre-Coffee
Monday, Bloody Monday

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